Most people say that being in love is the best thing that could ever happen to you. What they don’t tell you is that being in love with the wrong guy is nerve wrecking and heartbreaking to say the least. Wouldn’t life be a bit easier if we could just tell what guy would be right for us? No more wasting time in the wrong relationship, no more playing games and most importantly, no more unnecessary heartbreaks! How do you know he is the right guy for you? Here are a couple of simple ways including some psychological tests.
Test
Support
He genuinely makes you smile and supports your growth. Truth be told, if you don’t automatically smile when you think about him or even see something that reminds you of him, then he’s not right for you. Think of the ways he smiles, the way he sings in the shower when he thinks you’re not listening, his cologne and even how much of a klutz he is. What emotions do this memories elicit? Does he respect you? Does he support your growth and is not threatened by your success? Is he always in the fore front of helping you grow? Then you should definitely keep him!
The airport test
Imagine you had a major fight with your boyfriend. It was so bad that he’s leaving for good and you might never see him again. Your only task is to drop him off at the airport and your relationship is over. What feelings does this scenario elicit? If you feel a bit relieved, free and somehow happy, then he’s not the right guy for you. Does that scenario make you feel panicky and devastated? Like you lost a major part of your life? He might just be your Mr. Right!
Be yourself
You can be yourself with him and vice versa. We all have some quirks that kind of make us weird. It could be your love for mismatched socks, or maybe your food combination. If you have to constantly watch your actions around him then I’ve got bad news for you, he’s not the one. The right guy for you will have you snorting when you laugh and you won’t even notice. He will be like your best friend, with whom you can both show your vulnerabilities without fear of judgement. If he’s all this and brings out the best in you without trying to change you, then your heart is in the right place.
Disagreements that have solutions
You’re not afraid of disagreements. Every healthy relationship has its ups and downs. Arguments are normal occurrence, with the main difference being how different couples handle them. Are you constantly walking on eggshells around him because you are afraid the disagreement will lead to a break up? Then stop wasting your time with him. In the right relationship, you’ll have constructive arguments, where you both tell each other as it is,a regardless of the consequences.
Marriage
He passes the marriage test. This one works for people who have been dating for long. Imagine walking down the aisle to say I DO to the love of your life. What makes you happier: the lavish wedding ceremony or being able to spend the rest of your life with him? When you are dating the right guy, you look forward to waking up next to him every morning. You are aware of all the storms your relationships might face and you are ready to sail through them.
Imago theory
According to this psychological theory, we unconsciously choose partners that are in some way like our primary caregivers e.g. parents. More often, this happens so as to rectify a lingering issue from our childhood or past. Do you find yourself getting drawn to critical guys? Could it be that you’re trying to seek approval and validation that you never got form your father? Our upbringing has a lot to do with the kind of guys you find yourself with. You may be seeking some form of healing from the relationship, but end up opening sore wounds. Based on this theory, it is easy to tell if you’re in the right relationship or just looking to heal the past. Is he the right guy for you?
Even with all the tips and theories available, you are the one who holds the major keys- your heart and intuition. Deep down, you can feel it and know if he’s the right guy for you or not. Listen to your gut.
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