Self-confidence is a firm belief of your abilities. It is a mirror of how you see yourself based on your strengths and weaknesses. Are you always self-pity? Did you know that self-pity is the main symptom of lack of self-confidence. Other symptoms include lack of courage, inability to make decisions, stress, and depressions. Additional characteristics are trying to be someone you aren’t, seeking people’s approval, fear of failure. Besides, when you have weak self-confidence, you judge yourself based on what people say about you and have fear of criticism. However, at one point of your life you understand that the time to change everything has become. This article will help you to make your first steps in building your self-confidence.
What causes a lack of self-confidence?
Lack of self-confidence can occur as a result of many things. We were all borne confident, but we lose the confidence as we grow up, there are sad events that are unforgettable. Child abuse and sexual abuse during childhood, narcissistic mothers, neglect during childhood, controlling parents, a higher expectation from parents and body appearance can reduce self-confidence.
Why boost your self-confidence?
At any time you can start building your self-confidence. Actually, you have the power to break the shells. It is a skill that you can learn, practice and practice just like other skills. Even though this process takes time, it helps to be proud of yourself. Confident people tend to be risk takers and they conquer the world. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will ever believe you and you won’t be able to achieve anything. Everyone has goals and dreams. But only those with self-confidence achieve them. You too can start building your uself-confidence and become a person you want to be. A person proud of whatever you do no matter the consequences, a person whom people admire being like, and a person who can enjoy life.
Building your self-confidence
1. Change your body language
Your body language can be used to judge you whether you’re confident or not. Your body posture, eye-contact, smile, and speech creates an impression on people around you. It is how you present yourself that people get to know whether you’re confident or not. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, recommended power posing to be the most effective way of building courage. According to Amy’s research, posing high posture helps to feel more confident. This happens because body language influences our brain. In other words, when you sit crossing your legs with low-power pose for 2 minutes, you do not feel powerful. On the other hand, when you spend 2 minutes in high posture, the level of testosterone in your body increase. In turn, the level of cortisol decreases.
Another recommendation for building self-confidence is to copy other people’s gestures. To explain, we all have role models (people we would like to be like in coming years). In order to be like them we must adapt their way of doing things including their body language. For instance, if you want to be like Obama, why not start practicing his body language. When your body language is confident, people will always take you to be confident. Although, when you’re shy, you cannot maintain eye contact and your audience or people next to you will judge you as a person with no confidence. No matter your expertise level, if you are shy no one can believe in your abilities. Accordingly, working on body language is one way of building your self-confidence.
For those interested in Amy’s popular speech about body language, watch the video below:
2. Forgive and forget
You’re in pain with many emotional wounds because of someone who mistreated you, disappointed you or/and betrayed you. Forgive them and move on, unforgiveness is a poison. Whether you forgive them or not their life is not affected instead you’re indirectly ruining your life. Don’t over drink because of a friend or a lover who has hurt you. No matter what they have done, forgive them.
You have been listening to people’s opinion about you for long. It is now time to talk. Share your experiences with honest people close to you. Share you hurting experiences with a person who can advise you. For example, counselors are there for you and they will listen to your story and advise accordingly. Once you share your experience, you will be able to move on. Because sharing your experiences will also help another person who is going through the same situation as well. Moreover, it makes you feel you’re not the only one going through such disappointing experiences.
4. Acknowledge your strengths
There are things you have previously achieved, so appreciate yourself. You have talents and hobbies to be proud of. Spend most of your time on things that make you happy, activities that refresh your mind. Have time for sporting and outdoor recreational activities such as swimming, diving, hiking, sunbathing, zipping, hill climbing and bike riding. There are so many stories of famous people who made their dreams come true with the help of activities they enjoy doing. Accordingly, your hobbies can also help you in building your self-confidence.
5. Accept who you are
No one is as beautiful as you are. You were beautifully and wonderfully made. Don’t compare yourself with your social media friends, you are different from them, they also admire something you have they don’t have. Obesity is killing many people’s self-confidence. Though, do you know that thin guys are also suffering from the same. Regular exercises and a good diet will help you have that body size and shape you always admire. If you want to change something in your appearance, you can start working on yourself today.